Twitter over capacity again

Sigh…

’nuff said

Actual Wal-Mart Job Application

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen
submitted to Walmart in Arkansas. They hired him because he
was so funny…..

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Fart)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least
one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President.
But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be
picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place ?

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and
a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible,
make an offer and we can  haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection
of stolen pens and  post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK:  Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday,
and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?  Yes, but they’re
better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?
If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD
PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?
Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR? I think the more appropriate question
here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR
RECOGNITION? I may already be a winner of the Publishers
Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE? On the job – no!  On my breaks – yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?
Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy, dumb, sexy,
blonde supermodel who thinks I’m the greatest thing since
sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE:   7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE
TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?   Oh yes, absolutely.

Happy Independence Day!

Today in 1776, the United States declared its independence from Great Britain.

From Wikipedia-

In the United States, Independence Day, commonly known as the Fourth of July, is a federal holiday commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain. Congress approved the wording of the Declaration on July 4 and then sent it to the printer. Whether John Hancock, as the elected President of the Second Continental Congress, or anyone else signed the document that day is unknown, because that document has been lost — presumably destroyed in the printing process.^[1] Hancock’s name and that of a witness do appear on the typeset broadside that was published within a few days. On August 2 in the following month, an engrossed document in script form^[2] was signed by Hancock and other delegates.

Independence Day is commonly associated with fireworks, parades, barbecues, carnivals, picnics, baseball games, and various other public and private events celebrating the history, government, and traditions of the United States, but is often also viewed as simply a summer festival, apart from its patriotic overtones.

This is also from Wikipedia- a picture of fireworks in Miami-